When Nessie died we had a wake. Right on the shore where her body washed up. John got drunk and tried to make a viking funeral of the thing and before it was over we were all crying. Even the guy who got his picture in the paper. He didn’t deserve all the grief; the locals knew Nessie was dead before his boat rammed it. That didn’t stop the witch-hunts though. Those front page headlines made a terrible epitaph: the line “NESSIE EXISTS!” overlaid with “NESSIE EXTINCT!” But no amount of drinking inspired anything better than a simple “How?”