This was the same room where his father’s funeral was held a decade before. Though this time there was no hiding in the back row with his school buddy Tripplett. In fact, the seats were gone complety and the room was for standing only, though a few folding chairs had been brought in for some of the elderly family members who couldnt stand long.
RJ was immediately noticed that there was a sort of unspoken division going on in the room between families. It reminded him of the oddl sort of layout you see at a wedding. The reasons and motivations arent much different in either case. There was a knot of men to the right made up mostly of uncles from his fathers side and a few first cousins. On the left were small groups of people from his mother’s side of the family. They werent as tightly knotted as the other group. RJ walked into the open gray area in between and noticed that there was no one from the Stevens family in either group. Maybe they felt like they wouldn’t be welcome. RJ had no idea if his mom still had any contact with her second husband’s family after he died. Out-lived them both, eh mom? he thought to himself as he walked slowly toward the dais where his mother’s casket was displayed. Her sister Mary was just walking away from it and there was a tall man of slim build bent over the edge of the casket crying into his handkerchief. RJ waited respectfully and got a few hugs from his Aunt Eleanor and her husband Bill. The man turned around and straightened himself and RJ noticed he easily topped 7 foot tall. He looked over his handkerchief as he moved forward and extended his other hand to RJ. “I’m deeply deeply sorrowful for your lost.” RJ returned his handshake solemnly and tried to place the man. He wasn’t a family member, at least not one he recognized and RJ was certain he hadn’t met him before now. His accent was definitely southern but from deeper down South. Even so it sounded completely out of place here. RJ searched the man’s tear-streaked face questioningly, hoping an introduction was forthcoming. “Ah…thank you sir, that means a lot. ” The man said nothing further and started past RJ then turned back, gripping RJ’s shoulder. He said loudly “You may have lost a mother, but I have lost a dear dear companion, and I am”bereft! Simply bereft!”
RJ blinked back at him, his questions silenced by the man’s outburst. He watched him walk way into the crowd and before he could ask anyone who the man was his cousin LindaKay nudged him and nodded toward the line of people behind him. “Go on up RJ, say good bye to your momma.”
RJ took those last few steps as if the all the fatigue hed felt in the past 36 hours were suddenly piled up on his back. He focused on the dark blue dress with roses printed on it and tried not to cry. It was no use. He stood there for what was probably only 10 minutes gazing at his mothers face, seeing that she was at peace at last. Inside it felt like an eternity before he could look away.
Suddenly he was shocked out of his remembrances by the sound of his mother’s voice coming from somewhere behind him. She was saying “Hello RJ its been too long!” He wheeled around and saw his mother standing before him in a floral dress and dark cabled sweater. His mouth shot open but no sound came out. He took a step back to look at the body in the coffin and then over at his mother. She was still standing there, smiling and holding out her arms to him. With a strangled cry he rushed forward and hugged her tightly, crying even more tears. The woman hugging him patted his back and said “I’m sorry I didn’t let you know I was coming back, I just got here myself.” “Coming back? From…from??” RJ’s mind started working again after several moments and he felt his brother’s hand on his shoulder. “Bet you forgot mom had a twin sister didn’t you? I know I did. There here’s your Aunt Irene.”
RJ looked at her face again, he could see she looked like a younger, less travel weary version of his mother and he blushed deeply. He managed a soft “Of course.” Aunt Irene was still a bit surprised at RJ’s outburst and she patted him on the back as she untangled herself from his hug. ” Now I know what people mean when they say someone looks like they’ve seen a ghost! But I’m here to tell you that the only shock bigger than that is looking over there and seeing myself lying in a coffin.” Her voice trailed off and RJ followed her gaze over his shoulder and back to where several of his cousins were hugging each other and crying over the coffin. Irene walked over and spoke to them then they all hugged at the same time and a new bout of tears and sobs started up.
RJ felt he needed air or he was going to explode and he didn’t dare look over at his uncles to see if they had witnessed his shock at seeing his mother standing before him only to find it was her twin sister from Ohio. He went quickly up the stairs and out into the too bright day. He walked over to his car and rummaged in the glovebox for a tissue and wiped his face. He put a spare in the pocket of his suit and took several deep breaths.
“You’re not leaving already are you?”
RJ looked around and saw his brother Kelly leaning into the back of his pickup, an older and more beat up twin to Ronnie’s. Kelly spat tobacco juice on the dry ground and nodded to a young man standing on the other side. “Do you remember him? He’s your half brother Glen. Glen remember RJ? He’s the one too good to live in West Virginia anymore.”
Glen walked around the back of the truck and offered his hand to RJ. RJ took it and pulled him into a hug. Glen had short dark hair, no beard, and wore crisp new jeans. He smelled of denim and Old Spice. Kelly said “Remember changing his diaper when we were living on the Vaughn’s farm back in Mentone?” RJ did remember, but he didn’t choose to mention it just now. RJ was really glad Glen had come and told him so. He saw none of his mother’s face in Glen’s but thinking back to his father Glen Sr. he could place the hair and the smile.
“Have you been in yet?” RJ asked, nodding toward the open door of the funeral home, the darkness within masking anything beyond the shaft of sunlight in the hallway.
“No, I haven’t. I’ve been trying to convince Kelly here he needs to go in.” RJ turned to face his brother with a stern look. “Why haven’t you gone in yet? Everyone’s down there.” Kelly shifted his tobacco from one side of his mouth to the other and answered. “Two reasons, and that’s reason number one, and reason number two is ’cause I don’t want to come out looking as stupid as you do right now.”
RJ realized his face must still be red and tear streaked and he was certain there were stains on his shirt front as well. He glanced in the sideview mirror of Kelly’s truck and resisted the urge to try and pat his hair into place with his fingers. “There’s nothing stupid about crying at your mother’s funeral.”
RJ could see Kelly was working up something more to say but he wasn’t going to debate it with him. He said “Suit yourself!” and turned to Glen putting his arm around his shoulder. “C’mon Glen, I’ll go in with you and nobody will say Anything Its the right thing to do.” and with that he led his half brother down to see his mother one last time.